Choosing the bear: The cupcake-sociopathy spectrum and the problem with men

When I was really little, I would only wear dresses, preferably flouncy. I was totally fierce about it, too. “I’m a girl!” I’d hiss and spit whenever someone tried to shove me into a pair of pants. I soon developed a love for pants, but it wasn’t an either-or proposition. I still love dresses, and I am […]

Beyond fuck: On maledictions and war fantasies and why they matter

I’m an American! the girl wails.The man with the gun and camouflage smirks.What kind of American? – the trailer from the upcoming movie Civil War As a writer, I lament the lack of curses in the English language. Oh, we have insults a-plenty, but they lack panache. “Cunt,” “dick” and “asshole” compare persons to body parts either used for copulation […]

Low note: Why critiquing ‘fundie baby voice’ isn’t the flex you think it is.

Of all the nasty outcomes predicted for women’s liberation…none was more alarming than the suggestion that women would eventually become just like men. – Barbara Ehrenreich Scene: Early 2000s newsroom, in the wilds of industrial New Jersey. A telephone brays; I snatch it from its cradle and answer. “What are you, twelve years old?” a man […]

The deep end of the pool: Why do I bother with theology?

There are and will be those who think I have gone overboard. Let them rest assured that this assessment is correct, probably beyond their wildest imagination, and that I will continue to do so. – feminist theologian Mary Daly My weird little ride in Paganism tumbled me into theology back in high school, courtesy of books […]

Neither bound nor free: On free will, philosopher-kings and related edgelords

Other dogs bite enemies; I bite my friends to save them. – Diogenes, a Cynic I give up on books sometimes. In the old days, I didn’t; I would consign them to bathroom reading, or stick them in the car to have handy in waiting rooms. Somewhere along the line – probably after a shit-ton of […]

Poem: Then and now

It was a different world at the beginning of the book, filled with flame and hope. I wrote in black ink, and people winked out like fireflies only to return on the next pulse of light until I winked out and never returned. I built a new house from shame and wisdom took a few […]

The wall and the river: On materialism, misbelief and why spirituality heals

He says that woman speaks with nature. That she hears voices from under the earth. That wind blows in her ears and trees whisper to her. That the dead sing through her mouth and the cries of infants are clear to her. But for him this dialogue is over. He says he is not part […]

Dream poem: Death in Life spoke to me

The dead thing says to the living: Alive is better. Held together by bone and spirit, flashing white in the starless vault the death that lurks inside all the living sometimes it comforts us: this too shall end. Sometimes it comforts us, a companion on every journey, waiting on the rocks in the stream, under […]

Welcome the stranger: What I wish Unitarian Universalists knew about Pagans

When I see the word “welcome,” what first springs to mind is a kind of folk etymology: “Well, come on in!” It’s a common word, of course, woven into door-stoop mats, embroidered into display hoops, printed and framed and hung on a wall. According to my theoretical friends at Etymology Online, the word comes from “welcome […]

On despair: Of soul wounds, Omelas and the Deal With It Never drawer

We wear the mask that grins and lies,It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,This debt we pay to human guile;With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,And mouth with myriad subtleties. — Paul Laurence Dunbar I don’t know about you, but once upon a time, I found a very useful place inside myself – a keep-it-all space, […]